Peep Wars
by Ranting Flamer 2060
Summary: Pranking Ironhide has never been this sweet. one-shot crack fic


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This was pretty much all written by Kittara. I contributed a couple paragraphs and beta'd it.... I would have attempted to add more but my brain's not working as I just got a puppy and he doesn't sleep through the night yet...

~Kittona

this bunny was posted on the bunny farm by September Baby1 and Meirelle made an amazing icon to go with.

http:// community. livejournal. com/ tf_bunny_farm/ 165510. html Take out all the spaces for the link to work.

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Disclaimer: We do not own Peeps or Transformers. If we did, we're not sure we would even be writing this....

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Peep Wars

Ironhide was in a rage. Someone had vandalized his precious cannons. Stalking down the halls of the ark, he glared at any mech who dared to smile, and just about shot the first mech to ask what the pit was on his cannons.

Prowl didn't even look up as he stormed into the Autobots SIC's office. "No Ironhide, you cannot use the mech responsible as target practice." The tactician calmly stated as he looked over Mirage's patrol report.

"But Prowl! Just look what they did ta me! It's going ta take hours to get this off 'em! I just know it!" Ironhide exploded, not even trying to keep his vocalizer in check.

At this point Prowl looked up, and took in the sight before him. Upon closer inspection he could see that the cannons were covered in what looked like multicolored candy chickens. He sighed in exasperation. "I will find out who is responsible and take appropriate measures. Now if you please, I am very busy." Prowl waved his hand at the piles of late reports Jazz had left on his desk just breems before.

Ironhide growled and left the office. Muttering quietly about how long it was going to take to clean his uniquely built cannons and what he was going to do to the mech who dared to defile them.

He had only made it halfway to the wash racks when something landed on his head. It was soft and squishy, but not for long. The mass of stuff hardened almost instantly, attaching itself to his head. Running to the wash racks in a mad frenzy, upon reaching his destination, he looked in the mirror.

"Aaaarrrrggg!!!" Staring back at him from the top of his head was an over-sized candy chicken. He recognized it as one of those abominable Peep things Spike and Carly had been fighting over around that 'Easter' holiday, but they were no where near this...big.

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It took hours for Ironhide to get the massive amount of mini Peeps off of his cannons, and even longer to remove the gigantic peep from his head. It wasn't until Jazz came in that Ironhide even checked the time.

"'Hide? Ya in here?" Jazz carefully made his way around the puddles of marshmallow goo and sudsy water making a face at the mess and hoping that he wouldn't get any on himself. "Ironhide, Prowler's wondering why you didn't show up for yer shift on monit-" Jazz stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of a very disgruntled Ironhide.

"If I ever git hold of tha' mech that did this..." Ironhide powered up both of his cannons and shot the wall of the wash racks at full power. Jazz winced as pieces of the wall showered down around them.

"Now I don't think that's necessary 'Hide. Prowler will take care of it, if he doesn't chew ya out first fer not showin' fer yer shift." Jazz took a few steps back as the cannons aimed at him. "Easy there 'Hide. Wouldn't want to get onto Prowl's hit list as well now." Ironhide just growled and slowly powered down his now gleaming cannons.

"You can jus' tell Prowl to stick it up his tailpipe. I wasn't gonna go do meh shift look'en like an over-sized organic candy." Ironhide barked as he pushed past Jazz and headed to his quarters. If Prowl really wanted to talk to him, he could come find him.

Watching Ironhide stalk off, Jazz merely shook his head. Something told him things were only going to get worse. And he was right.

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Over the next few days everywhere Ironhide turned he found those confounded Peeps. Every time he came out of recharge, they were on his cannons, and some of them had even been attached to the ceiling and desk in his quarters.

It was getting down right frustrating, and neither of the twins showed any signs of being behind it, as each had a provable alibi. Even Bluestreak had no idea about who the prankster was, and he couldn't keep a secret if his life depended on it.

After a week of this Ironhide finally exploded, and landed himself in the brig for shooting Optimus, when asked for the eighteen hundredth time 'why did he have a giant peep stuck to his aft?' How the prankster had been able to pull that off was a mystery, being as Ironhide locked his door with a new code every night nowadays, and had several sensors connected to alarms hidden throughout his room.

In the brig Ironhide's incoherent mumbling could be heard with the occasional coherent curse. Prowl had asked Grimlock to guard the brig, as any of the other mechs would probably end up laughing and getting shot. Ironhide was thankful for that, as it meant he wouldn't be pranked tonight. It would be the first time for the past week that Ironhide could confidently go into recharge and not wake up covered in those disgusting Peeps.

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Up in the monitor room Prowl, Jazz, and the lambo twins looked at the fuming Ironhide sitting in the brig. "Well, that could'a gone much worse." Jazz commented brightly. "I really didn't think ya had it in ya Prowler." The twins hastily agreed to this statement, grinning from ear to ear.

Prowl looked at the three mechs. "The bet is done. You three now owe me twenty cubes of that special brew highgrade, and no further pranks for the next four months, and if Ironhide finds out it was me who did it, it's a month in the brig for all of you." With that he left to go finish the paperwork he had been neglecting for the last week.

Jazz and the twins glanced at each other for a moment before bursting into fits of laughter. Getting Prowl to prank someone had been well worth the price, and out of fear of ending up in the brig scrubbing the floor and walls with a human sized toothbrush, they never told anyone about the bet.


End file.
